Archive for Sesame Street

It Came to me in a Dream

Posted in Life in General, Rants with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

I HATE THIS BOOK!!!According to Stephenie Meyer’s web page, the idea for her best-selling Twilight series came to her in a dream:

I woke up (on that June 2nd) from a very vivid dream. In my dream, two people were having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people was just your average girl. The other person was fantastically beautiful, sparkly, and a vampire. They were discussing the difficulties inherent in the facts that A) they were falling in love with each other while B) the vampire was particularly attracted to the scent of her blood, and was having a difficult time restraining himself from killing her immediately. For what is essentially a transcript of my dream, please see Chapter 13 (“Confessions”) of the book.

While I find what little I’ve read of the Twilight series is painfully bad, the actual concept behind this dream – a vampire who is torn between love and his monstrous instincts – is pretty decent drama. My only real objection to the concept is that it had already been done very well in the TV series Forever Knight, which had all the angst and drama that the Twilight series wants to have but goes a step further by adding sympathetic and interesting characters as well as some decent pacing.

I have never had a dream about a sparkling vampire falling in love with somebody. If I ever do, I will never create a novel out of it, since the fiction market is oversaturated with Twilight wannabes these days. I have, however, had a number of pretty crazy vivid dreams of my own. Here’s a quick list of actual dreams I’ve had that maybe have the seeds of a semi-decent story in them. The list is in no particular order, and I’m going to go ahead and claim copyright on all these dreams – so don’t go stealing my hallucinations and passing them off as your own.

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Bert versus James Bond

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on February 15, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Yeah...this seems fair and logical.Following the destruction of Sesame Street in the last fight, Bert has become a fugitive and is on the run. Chasing him down between vidka martinis and rolls in the hay with sexy foreign ladies is James Bond, Britain’s top secret agent. Armed with a dry wit, a Walther PPK, and all the gadgets that Q Division can come up for him, Bond has previously managed to best Conan the Barbarian and is now setting his sights on the yellow puppet with the unibrow.

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Deadpool versus Bert

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on February 14, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Better shake off that morning hangover and get to work, Bert.Having gained a narrow victory over Vash the Stampede, Deadpool is the new champion. The first opponent for this unpredictable homocidal loudmouth is the detail-obsessed, pigeon-loving control freak from Sesame Street known as Bert. Bert has previously played the role of the evil mastermind on this page, but may or may not have reformed since his last defeat at the hands of his former roommate. Deadpool, meanwhile, may or may not even be aware that he’s part of a tournament – he might just be killing for fun, or because he thinks he’ll make some money at the end of it all.

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Ernie versus Gollum

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , , on February 7, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

The pictures show the contrast better than words ever could.Here’s Ernie’s chance to finally fight someone other than Bert. True, he also faced Bruce Campbell and lost in the Biggest Damned Fight Ever, but so did everybody else. The lovable bath-loving muppet is facing off against J.R.R. Tolkien’s Gollum, who previously bested Jar Jar Binks. Gollum is similar to a muppet in that he’s got exaggerated features and has a strange speech pattern. He is different in the fact that he kills people in their sleep, steals their stuff, and sometimes eats them. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn’t belong.

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Bert versus Ernie 2

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on February 7, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

A Muppet rematch.This rivalry goes back a ways. In the days before there was a contest of champions, Ernie finally rose up and defeated Bert, who had oppressed him for years. Sure, they seem like the best of buddies on Sesame Street, but that’s only a fairy tale facade hiding the ugly truth. In that battle, Bert disappeared into the sewers. Since then, he had honed his skills and plotted revenge against his fuzzy orange foe. Now he emerges to reforge his oppressive reign over that place called Sesame Street, and only Ernie can stop him.

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Bert versus Ernie

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , , , on December 16, 2010 by Charlie Brooks

The children know who to trust.We’ve already established Bert as an evil mastermind in the Tick versus Superman fight. Now we get to see the meanest puppet in the world take on his whipping boy, Ernie. Bert has kept his public image rather clean while running the underworld of Sesame Street for years. He is known for his one eyebrow, nasty disposition, and fetish for pigeons. Ernie has been abused by Bert for years. His only retaliation has been the occasional tearing off of Bert’s nose, for which he received severe beating once out of the view of the public. Ernie is arguably the most wholesome persona on Sesame Street (you don’t even want to know the type of stuff Elmo’s into…), and has kept his sanity for all these years thanks to the constant companionship of his Rubber Duckie. Continue reading

The Tick versus Superman

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , , on December 16, 2010 by Charlie Brooks

Who is the bigger, bluer boy scout?The Tick is a simple-minded and stout-hearted defender of justice who fights crime in The City. He has a sidekick named Arthur who dresses like a moth and has a dog named Speke. The Tick is super strong and nigh invulnerable. He has a slight advantage here because he never died, came back, got split into four different heroes, lost his powers, gained his powers, got split into two more heroes, then suddenly went back to the way he was. Aside from that fiasco in the 1990s, Superman was born on the planet Krypton, where, depending on who has told his origin, either everybody was normal or everybody had super powers. On the eve of his planet’s death, he was rocketed off to Earth where he took up the alias of Clark Kent. He has super strength, speed, intelligence, nigh invulnerability, heat vision, x-ray vision, and flight. Continue reading