It hadn’t occurred to me that anybody might not like the movie Skyfall until I watched it with my brother. He was largely unimpressed by it because James Bond spends most of the movie failing to do the type of superspy heroics that he normally accomplishes. That leads me to wonder: are the Daniel Craig films bad Bond movies?
Archive for Sean Connery
Dragonheart is not a good movie. It’s cheesy, full of tired clichés, its characters are about as two-dimensional as they come, and the entire movie seems to rely on the notion that people will watch anything if you can combine Sean Connery and dragons. The sad part is that, having seen the film once in theatres, I specifically rented the DVD just so I could make this video. It uses clips from Dragonheart combined with the song “Trogdor” from Strongbad Email #58. If you’re unfamiliar with Strongbad, I suggest a trip over to Homestarrunner.com to educate yourself.
All right. I’ve taken my medication, stopped placing threatening calls to Davis-Panzer Productions, and cleansed my palate with a couple episodes from Highlander: The Series. I am now ready to dive back into Highlander II.
While Connor is suddenly remembering his time on Zeist after being ignorant of it decades after he gained absolute knowledge through winning the Prize, a woman named Louise breaks into the Shield Corporation, a standard evil cyberpunk megacorp that is taxing people into poverty in order to keep the Shield up. Louise learns that the ozone has replenished itself, rendering the Shield unnecessary. That, of course, raises the question of what happens if people don’t pay their taxes to the Shield Corporation? Does the Shield get taken down, forcing that person to live in…gasp…sunlight? Well, that actually can’t be it, because the Shield is revealed to have been meant to be permanent, meaning that it can’t be taken down. Continue reading
Okay, let’s get this over with.
Highlander II: The Quickening. When you’re talking about crappy sequels, you’re talking about Highlander II. It defines the concept of a good movie getting ruined by a lousy sequel. It is easily one of the worst sequels of all time, and even all the monkeying around with director’s cuts decades later has failed to make it a tolerable movie.
And you want to know the saddest part? Highlander II isn’t even the worst movie in this franchise. That honor goes to Highlander: The Source, which we’ll be discussing later. Believe me, I’m not looking forward to it, either. Continue reading
Highlander. I love it, even though it has caused me so much pain. Like many fans of the Highlander franchise, I keep coming back for crappy movie after crappy movie, each time hoping that those in control of the franchise somehow catch lightning in a bottle as they did with the first film. As of late I’ve gotten back on a Highlander kick, looking at the high points and the many low points of the franchise. Adding to my fervor is the fact that my Christmas bounty from my family included the director’s cut of the original film, the “Immortal edition,” which is essentially the director’s cut in a new case with some Queen-related bonus features but cool to own anyway, and Highlander 3: The Sorcerer as a gag gift. (My mother apparently wanted to get me Highlander: the Source as the gag gift, which would have possibly ruined Christmas with my inevitable overreaction.) So I’ve got a lot of reasons to think about this franchise now and plenty of material to use for rants. I’m planning on going over the franchise as a whole eventually, but first I figure it’s best to explain why I’m so obsessed with it, and why I and many other Highlander fans come back to the franchise again and again like abused spouses. To do that, the only possible place to start is the first film, which is unquestionably the high point of the franchise. Continue reading