Archive for Muppets

It Came to me in a Dream

Posted in Life in General, Rants with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

I HATE THIS BOOK!!!According to Stephenie Meyer’s web page, the idea for her best-selling Twilight series came to her in a dream:

I woke up (on that June 2nd) from a very vivid dream. In my dream, two people were having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people was just your average girl. The other person was fantastically beautiful, sparkly, and a vampire. They were discussing the difficulties inherent in the facts that A) they were falling in love with each other while B) the vampire was particularly attracted to the scent of her blood, and was having a difficult time restraining himself from killing her immediately. For what is essentially a transcript of my dream, please see Chapter 13 (“Confessions”) of the book.

While I find what little I’ve read of the Twilight series is painfully bad, the actual concept behind this dream – a vampire who is torn between love and his monstrous instincts – is pretty decent drama. My only real objection to the concept is that it had already been done very well in the TV series Forever Knight, which had all the angst and drama that the Twilight series wants to have but goes a step further by adding sympathetic and interesting characters as well as some decent pacing.

I have never had a dream about a sparkling vampire falling in love with somebody. If I ever do, I will never create a novel out of it, since the fiction market is oversaturated with Twilight wannabes these days. I have, however, had a number of pretty crazy vivid dreams of my own. Here’s a quick list of actual dreams I’ve had that maybe have the seeds of a semi-decent story in them. The list is in no particular order, and I’m going to go ahead and claim copyright on all these dreams – so don’t go stealing my hallucinations and passing them off as your own.

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Bert versus James Bond

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on February 15, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Yeah...this seems fair and logical.Following the destruction of Sesame Street in the last fight, Bert has become a fugitive and is on the run. Chasing him down between vidka martinis and rolls in the hay with sexy foreign ladies is James Bond, Britain’s top secret agent. Armed with a dry wit, a Walther PPK, and all the gadgets that Q Division can come up for him, Bond has previously managed to best Conan the Barbarian and is now setting his sights on the yellow puppet with the unibrow.

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Deadpool versus Bert

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on February 14, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Better shake off that morning hangover and get to work, Bert.Having gained a narrow victory over Vash the Stampede, Deadpool is the new champion. The first opponent for this unpredictable homocidal loudmouth is the detail-obsessed, pigeon-loving control freak from Sesame Street known as Bert. Bert has previously played the role of the evil mastermind on this page, but may or may not have reformed since his last defeat at the hands of his former roommate. Deadpool, meanwhile, may or may not even be aware that he’s part of a tournament – he might just be killing for fun, or because he thinks he’ll make some money at the end of it all.

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David Bowie versus Vegeta

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , , on February 11, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Vegeta could be this fabulous if he lowered his blood pressure some.Imagine your life is like one long acid trip, only you aren’t necessarily on any drugs. I don’t know if that’s what David Bowie’s life is like, but that’s what I always imagine it as. He is almost supernaturally odd – I don’t know if that’s just his stage persona or if he really is that weird. Vegeta is here to challenge him because everyone keeps requesting Vegeta to fight someone. I haven’t even thought about anything Dragonball Z related in years, so I’ll have to blow some dust off of my brain in order to get this one going. Either way, he beat…um…oh yeah, he beat Sean Connery a while back to land a seat in this section.

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Ernie versus Gollum

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , , on February 7, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

The pictures show the contrast better than words ever could.Here’s Ernie’s chance to finally fight someone other than Bert. True, he also faced Bruce Campbell and lost in the Biggest Damned Fight Ever, but so did everybody else. The lovable bath-loving muppet is facing off against J.R.R. Tolkien’s Gollum, who previously bested Jar Jar Binks. Gollum is similar to a muppet in that he’s got exaggerated features and has a strange speech pattern. He is different in the fact that he kills people in their sleep, steals their stuff, and sometimes eats them. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn’t belong.

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Bert versus Ernie 2

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on February 7, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

A Muppet rematch.This rivalry goes back a ways. In the days before there was a contest of champions, Ernie finally rose up and defeated Bert, who had oppressed him for years. Sure, they seem like the best of buddies on Sesame Street, but that’s only a fairy tale facade hiding the ugly truth. In that battle, Bert disappeared into the sewers. Since then, he had honed his skills and plotted revenge against his fuzzy orange foe. Now he emerges to reforge his oppressive reign over that place called Sesame Street, and only Ernie can stop him.

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Punch and Judy versus Kermit and Miss Piggy

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , , on January 19, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Puppets versus MuppetsPunch and Judy are a classic puppet duo that have been around since the 16th century. Punch is a child-murdering, abusive lunatic, and Judy is his wife. Naturally, Punch’s role has been toned down over the years for the sake of the children. Kermit and Miss Piggy are muppets who may or may not have been dating for years. For the most part, Miss Piggy is the one who hits Kermit, making the abusive comedy duo and Bizarro version of Punch and Judy.

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