Following the Daisy versus Peach fight, Princess Daisy of Sarasaland and Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom developed certain relations that were not entirely of the diplomatic kind. Mario, angered at the fact that his two mistresses have left for each other to pursue a lesbian relationship, has recruited his brother Luigi to put the women in their place. Mario continues to be the chauvanistic bastard that he is, and Luigi is his meek sidekick. Peach and Daisy are now walking around with a huge target of their backs.
Archive for Mario
Princess Daisy has somehow worked her way into Nintendo’s Super Mario Brothers franchise, despite only being featured in a pair of games that were released for the original Game Boy and did only marginally well by Mario standards. She’s the other woman in Mario’s life, who is more of a tomboy than the usual Princess Peach/Toadstool, and hasn’t shown as much of a propensity to be captured. Princess Peach is sick of having Daisy around macking on her man all the time. She would have done something about it long ago, but she kept getting herself captured. But now the blonde bimbo of the Mushroom Kingdom has a moment’s worth of freedom, and is planning on taking her long-time rival down. We’ll see how that turns out.
Mario is the lovable video game character who has gotten completely out of hand during these fights and has turned into a nefarious super villain bent on world domination and/or destruction. He’s the current champion of this page, and seems nearly unstoppable. The Knights of the Dinner Table previously defeated the Fantastic Four, and are looking to score a win against the nearly unbeatable video game juggernaut.
Well, I’ve tried to put this fight off for quite a while, but I might as well finally get on with it. Up until the last fight that I did, Mario was one of the greatest video game heroes of all time. Then he fought Tommy Vercetti and was revealed to be a villain. Now I’ve written myself deep into a corner and have no choice but to continue this bastardization of the Italian plumber because people keep voting for the bastard. Next in line to fight him is Mighty Mouse, who once upon a time beat Pikachu in the fourth fight ever on this page.
Two generations of video game icons collide in this fight. Our reigning champion Mario seems completely unstoppable, and has won three fights on this page. His opponent is Tommy Vercetti, a ruthless killer and psychotic criminal who took over a city in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. He has a massive arsenal and a criminal empire to boot, so he’s going to be one tough cookie to bring down.
It’s been a long time, so I don’t remember why exactly I thought these two should fight. Maybe I bumped my head, maybe I was kidnapped by ex-KGB officials and drugged, I dunno. One explanation is just as good as the other. Either way, this is the part of the fight where I usually introduce the combatants. Well, I hate to break with tradition, so I guess I’d better get to it right now. Mario is the world’s most marketable video game character. Beginning in the early 1980s with Donkey Kong, he’s sold everything from the Super Mario Brothers games to golf sims. He’s been a carpenter, a plumber, a golfer, a doctor, an adventurer, and many others. The Tasmanian Devil, known affectionately by his sometimes victims as Taz, has led a much simpler life. He eats, spins around, and eats again. He’s loosely based upon the carnivorous species that serves as his namesake. Apparently Hollywood is trying to save that species. How noble they can be when their marketing tools are on the line…