Archive for Lord of the Rings

5 Major Plot Holes That Aren’t

Posted in Film, Rants with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2014 by Charlie Brooks

Hans GruberI love the Internet like a sibling – a sibling with very little social grace or common sense who is constantly embarrassing me at parties. I love the fact that it provides me with an outlet to gab on endlessly about things I like and vent about things I dislike. But with that territory comes a degree of frustration. In some cases, this is just minor irritation. In others, usually a result of a poorly-worded image search, it results in screaming horror that makes me want to stick my thumbs into my eyes. I’m going to focus on the former right now and save the eye-gouging for later.

Movies are one of those areas that I tend to read up about a lot and one of those areas where people tend to get me grinding my teeth. Almost all movies tend to have plot holes, but there are certain holes that people just won’t let go. They reach a viral level and become repeated by everybody who wants to take a shot at popular cinema. The most popular of these tend to irritate the Hell out of me because they aren’t actually plot holes. Continue reading


Gollum versus the Incredible Hulk

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , on February 8, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

They've got green skin, and uh...that's about it for similarities.Gollum is the surprising reigning champion, having bested Ernie in the last bout. He’s a sneaky, skulking little guy who knows how to play on people’s heart strings by acting all scraggly and pathetic when he’s really all scraggly and murderous. Facing off against him is the Incredible Hulk, who has made sporadic appearances in the fights arena with varying levels of success. The Hulk has gone through many personality changes over the years; for this fight, I’m using what I’ve dubbed the “mean son of a bitch” Hulk, who is thuggish and intelligent while also being able to fly off the handle and smash people to bits if they piss him off. You can see more of this particular Hulk in the recent Marvel Comics event Planet Hulk, which is one of the saddest things I’ve ever read. Fortunately, he also got to star in the mini-series World War Hulk, where my sadness was replaced by savage joy as the Hulk smashed his way through the Marvel Universe.

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Ernie versus Gollum

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , , on February 7, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

The pictures show the contrast better than words ever could.Here’s Ernie’s chance to finally fight someone other than Bert. True, he also faced Bruce Campbell and lost in the Biggest Damned Fight Ever, but so did everybody else. The lovable bath-loving muppet is facing off against J.R.R. Tolkien’s Gollum, who previously bested Jar Jar Binks. Gollum is similar to a muppet in that he’s got exaggerated features and has a strange speech pattern. He is different in the fact that he kills people in their sleep, steals their stuff, and sometimes eats them. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn’t belong.

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Agent Smith versus Elrond Half-Elven

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on February 4, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Hugo Weaving rocks my world.Two combatants, each aptly played by Hugo Weaving in major motion pictures. Agent Smith is one of the guardians of the Matrix. Elrond Half-Elven is the lord of Rivendell, and one of the bearers of the ring of power. If you haven’t seen any of the Matrix movies or read/seen anything relating to The Lord of the Rings…well, you probably live in a cave on Mars, and thus can’t read this page anyway.

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Gollum versus Jar Jar Binks

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on January 26, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

There is just no comparing these two. One is awesome, and so are the movies he's in. The other is Jar Jar frikkin' Binks.This fight seems pretty much like a no-brainer in terms of class. In one corner there is the ultimate embodiment of corruption via power and obsession with said power, created by J.R.R. Tolkien and brought to life on screen by Andy Serkis. In contrast to that we have what I can only image is the after effects of some bad crack taken by George Lucas as he thought up the story for The Phantom Menace. The presence of Jar Jar Binks was toned down by the second episode, by the damage had already been done by then.

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Skeletor and Panthor versus Gandalf and Shadowfax

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , , on January 20, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Now Middle Earth will be mine!!!Yeah, I used to watch He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? Masters of the Universe is one of my favorite toy/comic/TV franchises of all time, despite much of it not being very good. My favorite character from that franchise is Skeletor himself, who serves as the main antagonist to the Masters of the Universe. Skeletor is this awesome wizard-warrior thing who has a skull for a head and is constantly scheming to unlock the secrets of Castle Greyskull. Sure, none of his schemes ever work, but that’s the way of things when you’re a villain on a kid’s show. Skeletor also happens to be a very complex character, but I’ll go into details on that at another time. Character motivations and intricacies don’t have much of a place in the illogical universe that is this fights page. Facing off against Skeletor and his animal companion Panthor is Gandalf and Shadowfax. Gandalf has been on this fights page before, and even had a brief reign in the Contest of Champions. Shadowfax is the horse-prince of Middle Earth, and serves as the companion to Gandalf. No man could tame him, but he allows Gandalf to ride him out of choice.

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Don’t Panic…It’s an Adaptation

Posted in Film, Rants with tags , , , on January 14, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Marvin the paranoid androidI recently managed to convince my mother to check out the film adaptation of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Whether she likes it remains to be seen, but I know I enjoyed it, even though it wasn’t particularly faithful to the previous incarnations of Douglas Adams’ work. Of course, since I’m a fan of pretty much all things Hitchhiker-related, I didn’t expect it to be true to the other sources anyway. Following its release, a lot of fans complained about how the film strays from the book, but relatively few folks seem to realize that the book isn’t the one true source anyway.

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