Archive for Godzilla

Film Rants: Realism is Unrealistic

Posted in Film, Rants with tags , on August 22, 2012 by Charlie Brooks

The new GodzillaThere’s a new Godzilla movie in the works. According to director Gareth Edwards, the film is going to be “very grounded [and] realistic.” And I can’t help but feel that somebody is missing the point.

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Zombie Godzilla versus Zombie Superman

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , on February 4, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

When in doubt, turn everyone into zombies.This fight is a follow-up to two previous bouts. Godzilla met his demise at the tip of the legendary blade Carvin’ Marvin in his rematch fight against the Knights of the Dinner Table. Superman has been this section’s resident loser for some time. He’s been beaten in every single match he’s been through, most recently dying during the Biggest Damned Fight Ever. Now they’re both back as zombies, hoping they have better luck as undead creatures than they did during life.

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Godzilla versus the Knights of the Dinner Table 2

Posted in In This Corner with tags , on February 1, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Can Godzilla take these guys out a second time?These combatants are no stranger to one another. Godzilla is the one who put and end to the Knights’ championship run a while back. The Knights of the Dinner Table retreated and have been planning their vengeance ever since. We’ll see what tricks they have up their sleeves this time around, and whether that will be enough to score a win over the king of all monsters.

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Optimus Prime versus Godzilla

Posted in In This Corner with tags , , on February 1, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Giant monster battle! Go!The leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime has had a good run so far. He’ll be matching up against a veteran of the Contest of Champions, the nuclear-powered monster known as Godzilla. Godzilla put together a string of victories of his own before being dropped by Indiana Jones. We’ll see how he does in his comeback attempt, or if the upstart Optimus Prime can continue to hold onto the championship.

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Godzilla versus Indiana Jones

Posted in In This Corner with tags , on January 26, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

They're natural enemies, of course!Godzilla is the site’s reigning champion. A massive nuclear-powered dinosaur, he serves largely as a punishment to mankind for its experiments with atomic weaponry. On occasion, he also beats up aliens and other irradiated dinosaurs. Where monsters and armies have fallen before Godzilla’s might, a single man hopes to prevail. His name is Indiana Jones, and he is an archaeologist. Of course, he doesn’t so much study ancient cultures as he steals treasures so that the Nazis don’t get to it first. Regardless, for this fight he is humanity’s last hope. (Unless he loses, in which case someone else will face Godzilla next week.)

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Godzilla versus King Kong

Posted in In This Corner with tags , on January 25, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Rematch from the poorly-done Toho Studios picture.For what I believe is the second time ever, we have two combatants that have already squared off in a fight to the finish in “real” life. Godzilla and King Kong faced off in a movie appropriately named Godzilla versus King Kong, although their bout was unsatisfying and did not feature a clear winner. The American version of the same film made Kong out to be the winner, but also assumed that every viewer watching the movie had the intelligence of a stone. That movie sucks. I hereby forbid people to mention it and burn my own copy of it (which was given as a gift…I would spend money on Godzilla versus Space Godzilla before I paid anything for that crap. And when I call a Godzilla movie crap, you know it must be really, really bad.)

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The Knights of the Dinner Table versus Godzilla

Posted in In This Corner with tags , on January 25, 2011 by Charlie Brooks

Godzilla is a 30 HD monster, at least.The reigning page champions, the Knights of the Dinner Table are the best damned gamers in the town of Muncie. Known for their remarkable devotion to lucky dice, and their penchant for killing nameless NPCs, they have hacked and slashed their ways into gamers’ hearts. Their opponent will be Godzilla, King of the Monsters. Actually, it should be Gojira, but I’m just another stupid American who has watched the butcheries of the Japanese films too often. Godzilla is about 400 feet tall and breathes some sort of nuclear fire. He is not the Big Lizard from the 1998 film. That is America being even stupider than usual.

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