There’s a new Godzilla movie in the works. According to director Gareth Edwards, the film is going to be “very grounded [and] realistic.” And I can’t help but feel that somebody is missing the point.
Archive for Godzilla
This fight is a follow-up to two previous bouts. Godzilla met his demise at the tip of the legendary blade Carvin’ Marvin in his rematch fight against the Knights of the Dinner Table. Superman has been this section’s resident loser for some time. He’s been beaten in every single match he’s been through, most recently dying during the Biggest Damned Fight Ever. Now they’re both back as zombies, hoping they have better luck as undead creatures than they did during life.
These combatants are no stranger to one another. Godzilla is the one who put and end to the Knights’ championship run a while back. The Knights of the Dinner Table retreated and have been planning their vengeance ever since. We’ll see what tricks they have up their sleeves this time around, and whether that will be enough to score a win over the king of all monsters.
The leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime has had a good run so far. He’ll be matching up against a veteran of the Contest of Champions, the nuclear-powered monster known as Godzilla. Godzilla put together a string of victories of his own before being dropped by Indiana Jones. We’ll see how he does in his comeback attempt, or if the upstart Optimus Prime can continue to hold onto the championship.
Godzilla is the site’s reigning champion. A massive nuclear-powered dinosaur, he serves largely as a punishment to mankind for its experiments with atomic weaponry. On occasion, he also beats up aliens and other irradiated dinosaurs. Where monsters and armies have fallen before Godzilla’s might, a single man hopes to prevail. His name is Indiana Jones, and he is an archaeologist. Of course, he doesn’t so much study ancient cultures as he steals treasures so that the Nazis don’t get to it first. Regardless, for this fight he is humanity’s last hope. (Unless he loses, in which case someone else will face Godzilla next week.)
For what I believe is the second time ever, we have two combatants that have already squared off in a fight to the finish in “real” life. Godzilla and King Kong faced off in a movie appropriately named Godzilla versus King Kong, although their bout was unsatisfying and did not feature a clear winner. The American version of the same film made Kong out to be the winner, but also assumed that every viewer watching the movie had the intelligence of a stone. That movie sucks. I hereby forbid people to mention it and burn my own copy of it (which was given as a gift…I would spend money on Godzilla versus Space Godzilla before I paid anything for that crap. And when I call a Godzilla movie crap, you know it must be really, really bad.)
The reigning page champions, the Knights of the Dinner Table are the best damned gamers in the town of Muncie. Known for their remarkable devotion to lucky dice, and their penchant for killing nameless NPCs, they have hacked and slashed their ways into gamers’ hearts. Their opponent will be Godzilla, King of the Monsters. Actually, it should be Gojira, but I’m just another stupid American who has watched the butcheries of the Japanese films too often. Godzilla is about 400 feet tall and breathes some sort of nuclear fire. He is not the Big Lizard from the 1998 film. That is America being even stupider than usual.