Random Blogness: Movies, movies, movies

I AM THE LAW!It’s Friday night. I’ve had a long, hard week at work and I’m looking for ways to unwind. Might as well check out what’s playing in theatres.

I don’t watch films often, mostly because I don’t think theatres are worth their ever-inflating prices. Unless I’m guaranteed to love a film, I see going as a waste of money. The fact that I’m somewhat of a misanthrope and hate the averge theatre crowd only adds to my reluctance to heading out.

My local drive-in is playing hardball and tempting me this weekend, though. In addition to being a drive-in, which eliminates my problems with theatre crowds, the double feature this week is Brave followed by The Avengers. That might be too good to pass up. Brave has the double-whammy of being made  by Pixar, which rarely makes a bad film, and being a fantasy film with Celts in it, a combination that hasn’t tickled my fancy since Skaar: Son of Hulk #2 opened up with the son of the Hulk wielding a battleaxe while flying a red dragon into a fight:

I love this comic.

I love this comic.

As to The Avengers, it’s been on my list to see for a while, but I haven’t bothered going to watch it just yet. For those who are obsessed with my opinion on the Hulk, my not seeing the movie is no comment on the green guy’s characterization. From what I’ve seen and heard, he’s awesome and Mark Ruffalo is a very good Bruce Banner. I just haven’t watched it because I’ve been very busy, I didn’t want to see it on opening weekend because of the aforementioned obnoxious theatre crowds, and I was hoping to tag along with some friends at some point but it turns out that all my close friends have already seen it. I don’t like a lot of Joss Whedon’s work, but it sounds like he hit a good one with The Avengers.

In looking to some other upcoming films, I stumbled across Dungeons & Dragons 3: The Book of Vile Darkness. Behold the terror:

Who the fuck keeps licensing this shit? What exec at Hasbro is sitting around thinking, “Yeah, this D&D franchise may be worth hundreds of millions of dollars if used properly, but doesn’t it really need a trilogy of hideous movies?” The only thing more surprising to me that there is a third Dungeons & Dragons movie coming out is that there was apparently a second one. Weirdly, I keep hearing people say that the second one wasn’t very bad. I think they’re probably just comparing it to the first one. Might as well say that Highlander: Endgame isn’t all that terrible because at least it’s not Highlander 2.

The sad thing is that Dungeons & Dragons could be a decent movie – not a great one, but a decent one – if someone put some effort into it. Tap into some of the game’s more interesting bits of background. Or use one of the best-selling novels as inspiration. (Oh wait, they already tried that with Dragonlance, and it sucked.)

Luckily, this movie is on the Syphilis Syfy channel, so it can be easily ignored and will be forgotten alongside such abominations as Mansquito.

To cleanse the taste of abomination out of my brain, I decided to risk watching one more trailer:

Yeah…this one’s more my speed. Sure, I have a couple of nitpicks here and there, mostly in that the film will likely toss aside a lot of the humor that makes Judge Dredd comics so wonderful, but this one looks pretty cool. First of all, Mega City One looks awesome in the trailer. Second of all, Urban has the Judge Dredd scowl down to an art form. Finally, this film by all reports avoids the horrible mistakes that the Sylvester Stallone movie did, such as Dredd taking off his helmet and the inclusion of Rob Schneider.

Then there’s the next James Bond film:

I was pretty worried that MGM’s financial troubles would mean an end to the Daniel Craig Bond films. Craig’s Bond is fascinating to me, because instead of being portrayed as a fantasy wish fulfillment, the films have instead explored James Bond as what he would realistically be given his line of work: a dangerous murderer who is only considered a patriot instead of a sociopath because he has a badge from MI-6. I don’t even know what Skyfall is about, but Craig’s last two Bond films have bought him a chance with me no matter what.

Of course, even Dredd and Skyfall will likely pale in comparison to:

Following The Dark Knight, I commented that now would be a really good time to bring Bane into the Batman films as the truly ominous bad guy he was in the comics and do a version of Knightfall. Christopher Nolan seems to be going one better and adding elements of No Man’s Land to the mix. This one looks pretty awesome, and I’m glad to see that Bane will finally be portrayed as something other than dumb muscle. My only regret about this film is that DC is going to inevitably make Bane a bad guy again in the comics in an attempt to tie into the film, even though there is ample evidence by now that demonstrates that a movie’s success almost never translates into higher comic sales.


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