Sexy Women in Comics

Catwoman showing off her super powers.I just want to be very clear here: I have no problem with boobies.

Comics has always had a tough time with female superheroes. In the beginning they were generally dismissed as useless. The great contributions of the Wasp and the Invisible Girl in the 1960s was designing costumes for their respective teams. Wonder Woman tended to get captured about as often as she saved the day. This was reflective of the attitude toward women in the 60s. And yet while societal views toward women have become more progressive, comics still struggle handling female heroes in a respectful way. Only now, instead of being useless, comics make women sex kittens. But hey, is that so bad? I mean, at least readers get hot women, right?

Well, sort of. I actually maintain that a lot of comic book women aren’t really that hot.

The problem really became clarified to me when I read Heroes for Hire #11 and noticed this panel:

Misty Knight's amazing talking boobs.

Misty Knight's amazing talking boobs.

Yeah, that’s Misty Knight, and her breasts apparently have gained the power of speech.

This isn’t the only panel in that issue where that happens. There’s no artistic reason to have the character’s head completely cut out of the panel other than the fact that comics artists love boobies. And that’s fine – I’ve got no problem with hot chicks. However, I also notice that a lot of folks in the comics industry are quite concerned with why there are so few female fans.  I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that the creators don’t seem to think that having a woman’s face in a comic is a necessary thing.

The big problem, though, isn’t with the fact that women are objectified. Men are objectified in comics, too. Want proof? Gaze into the beauty of Hal Jordan’s hypno-ass.

Hell, even I want to squeeze that thing.

Hell, even I want to squeeze that thing.

But Hal Jordan also gets awesome moments like this:

I hate this story, but this is a pretty cool panel.

I hate this story, but this is a pretty cool panel.

Finding an awesome moment for Misty Knight only yielded this in an Internet search:

Okay, not totally true, but it makes my point eloquently.

Okay, not totally true, but it makes my point eloquently.

Here’s the thing with comic book women: just having them stand around posing like supermodels does not interest me. If I want to see unrealistically proportioned women waving their tits at me, I’ll look for actual porn. What I want out of my hot women in comics is some awesome.

Heroes for Hire #11 features the female members of the group doing just about nothing. They speculate on one another’s sex lives like gossip girls, then watch as Humbug kills an alien baby, douses them in its blood, and drags them aboard the alien mothership. Seriously…they don’t even offer an objection beyond “Eww.” And because of that, talking boobs aside, I just can’t care about Misty Knight. She does nothing.

I can’t pretend to guess what women want out of comics. So instead, I’ll just clamor for what I want: I want hot women, but I want them to be doing something.

You know who I think is sexy in comics? Wonder Woman. Because she has moments like these:

Walking through fire without being burned.

Walking through fire without being burned.

That’s a cheesecake shot, but it also follows up Wonder Woman walking through a blast of dragon’s fire. Call me crazy, but I think women being badass is really hot (YEAHHHH!).

I’ll allow Power Girl to further explain my stance on comic book women.

Standing on the runway?

Standing on the runway?

This image of Power Girl does nothing for me. She’s just a badly-proportioned woman here. Yet this is the type of thing that typically graces a cover these days. Why do I care about some poor anorexic broad with massive tumors growing out of her chest? She’s not standing in a dynamic pose, she’s not doing anything, and she even has a vacuous expression on her face. In short, she is boring. From a sex appeal angle, I could get the same effect out of ogling women in a Victoria’s Secret catalog.

Power Girl versus Wonder Woman

Power Girl versus Wonder Woman

This shot, by comparison, offers a lot more appeal to me. This is Power Girl and Wonder Woman throwing down. There’s something happening. In the next panel, Power Girl lifts a bus over her head. In the issue, she literally punches Wonder Woman into Canada. And while I’m enjoying the action, there’s a nice ass shot here. I don’t mind that. I can find pictures of women’s butts anywhere, but only in comics can I find pictures of an alien woman’s curvaceous bottom while she punches a Greek demigoddess into another country.

That is what comics offers. If you’re going to include cheesecake and women dressed like whores, make them do awesome stuff while they’re at it. Otherwise, comics offers nothing that the underwear section of a JC Penney catalog doesn’t.

So, in short, I have no problem with boobies. But I want the owners of those boobies to do something other than just stand around posing. There are far too few examples in comics of well-endowed women fighting robot dinosaurs. I think that needs to change.

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