Sephiroth versus Spawn

These guys are both jerks.Sephiroth is running around with his sword and his long platinum locks as the new reigning champion of this section. Spawn is making his second debut here. Although he got taken down by Indiana Jones a while ago, he also showed how much of a sadistic jerk he can be by waxing Shirley Temple back when this site was still young.

Round One:
Spawn has decided that Sephiroth has no business being alive, and has taken it upon himself to end the long-haired freak’s existence. He decides that with someone as messed up in the head as Sephiroth is, the best bet is probably to use his past as a distraction. As a result, Spawn resurrects the hundreds of men and women that Sephiroth has killed in the past. He sends this udnead army to Sephiroth, figuring that one of the individuals might get the one-winged angel to show some remorse or at least demonstrate some recognition as to the horrors he has caused. Instead, the army of undead just irritates Sephiroth, since his nemesis Cloud is still not among the dead. In a fit of rage, Sephiroth picks up his sword and cuts down every last person in the legion, killing them all again. Spawn can only note that his plans are not going well so far. Round One goes to Sephiroth.

Round Two:
With Spawn’s army of darkness dispatched, Sephiroth decides to go after the root of the problem. He hunts down Spawn, and the powerful pair prepare for battle. While Spawn could unleash his full power, he has a limit that Sephiroth doesn’t possess, and therefore has to hold back a bit. However, Sephiroth is also vexed by Spawn’s apparent invulnerability. The only way to kill Spawn is to cut off his head with a holy sword, and there’s absolutely nothing holy about Sephiroth. Due to sheer endurance and the attrition of his foe, Spawn eventually manages to overwhelm Sephiroth. Baffled by his inability to defeat someone not named Cloud, Sephiroth is forced to beat a hasty retreat. While a decent strategic move, it is still quite a blow to his pride. Round Two goes to Spawn.

Round Three:
While on the run from Spawn, Sephiroth decides to do a little sub-genre hopping. While he doesn’t have a holy sword of any sort, he knows of a place that does. He skips over to one of the core settings of the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game, which is well-known to most Final Fantasy characters, since the Final Fantasy franchise spent its first five or so games borrowing from D&D. Sephiroth seeks out a holy avenger sword. Although he can’t wield it himself, he also grabs the paladin who owns the sword. Then Sephiroth re-enters battle with Spawn, wielding the paladin and the sword he holds like a gigantic scythe. Most people would have a problem handling such an unwieldy weapon, but Sephiroth regularly duels with a 9-foot long sword, so he handles it well. Baffled by this strange tactic and overwhelmed by the +5 cold iron blade, Spawn eventually goes down. Sephiroth then feeds the paladin to some piranhas. While Spawn may be a jerk, Sephiroth is an outright asshole. Round Three and the fight go to Sephiroth.

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