Max Payne versus Solid Snake 3

Yep, we're doing this again.These two combatants have battled many times before on this page. By many times, I mean twice, but they’re still the only fighters so far to have had a rematch. Max Payne has won one, Snake won the other. Now these video game superheroes at each other’s throats once again.

Round One:
Max Payne’s life has finally turned around. He;s beginning to shake his gritty noir hero look and has been going through councilling about his painkiller addiction. (This is obviously before Max Payne 2, when his life goes back to shit again.) One starlit night, he’s walking back home from a group meeting, whistling to himself and feeling great. He’s so lost in bliss that he doesn’t notice as his surroundings become computerized 3D renditions of walls and obstacles rather than a gritty New York City backdrop. That’s right; he’s somehow wandered into one of Solid Snake’s VR missions. Suddenly, Max hears someone sneeze around the corner. A comical question mark appears above his head, and he walks around the corner to find Solid Snake, still recovering from a cold. The alarm goes up, and Max is overcome with the inexplicable urge to kill Snake. Time slows down as he goes into bullet time and puts three shots into Snake, who retreats around a corner. Solid Snake can take several blasts from a tank, so it doesn’t kill him. Still, it hurts like hell. Round One goes to Max Payne.

Round Two:
Eventually the meter runs down and Snake is momentarily safe. Snake starts stalking around, and takes aim at Max from down the hall.


“Quiet! You can’t see me!”

“Yes I can, you’re in plain sight.”

“But I’m out of your incredibly short field of vision.”

“I’m not some stupid cloned soldier.”

“Oh yeah…” Snake improvises and picks up a rock, throwing it at Max. The rock hits him square in the forehead.

“Ow dammit!”

Snake runs off. Round Two goes to Solid Snake.

Round Three:
Snake retreats again, and Max follows in hot pursuit. Max turns a corner, only to find that Snake is gone. Only a box lies in this corridor.

“Oh, I’m not falling for this stupid trick,” says Max as he flips over the box. Much to his surprise, the cardboard box is empty. Payne looks around in confusion, and Snake pops around the corner, opening fire. Max gets picked apart by a Socom, ad his vision becomes filled by the words “Mission Failed!” Round Three and the match go to Solid Snake.

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