Dr. Evil versus Commando Cody

Dr. Evil takes a break from fighting James Bond knockoffs.Doctor Evil is no stranger to this page, having already made multiple appearances, including the very first fight ever to grace this page against Doctor Doom. He’s an evil genius…well, an evil doctor. Commando Cody dates back to the 1950s, and is the second rocketman in serial history. He starred in three serials, Radar Men From the Moon, Zombies of the Stratosphere, and Commando Cody, Sky Marshall of the Universe. This fight draws largely from a parody version of him from a site called Twisted Mojo, which unfortunately seems to have disappeared these days.

Round One:
Our story begins in the familiar setting of Dr. Evil’s underground lair.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my latest plan is guaranteed to succeed. I plan on transfixing American audiences across the country by introducing a blatantly good and unoriginal character who will battle against incompetent evildoers over the course of an extended series of twenty minute episodes. I call it a ‘serial…'”

Dr. Evil trails off as he notices his lackeys staring at him with that ever familiar “You’re a fucking moron” expression on their faces. Dr. Evil pauses and suddenly comes to the realization that the serial had come about even before he was cryogenically frozen in 1967.

“Oh friggin’ A!” Dr. Evil is about to give up and finally try for a legitimate job when Commando Cody bursts into the room! (Da-daa!)

“Die vile scum!” While Cody is being kept busy with a bunch of incompetent henchmen who couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a shotgun, Dr. Evil makes his escape across the desert. Cody takes to the skies, and eventually catches up to Dr. Evil by a cliffside.

“Stop right there, Dr. Evil!”

“Okay, I know when I’m beaten. I can’t even defeat a goofy Englishman, let alone the famous Commando Cody.”

“Um…yeah!” Cody steps up to arrest Dr. Evil, slightly confused as to why anyone would show respect toward a man with a big metal cone on his head. Dr. Evil uses Cody’s momentarily confusion to push him off a cliff. Round One goes to Dr. Evil.

Round Two:
Dr. Evil dusts himself from the action and begins to walk away, only to turn around and find Commando Cody standing waiting for him.

“I don’t friggin’ believe it! How did you survive?”

“I’m a flying man. That’s what I do…I fly. It doesn’t take an evil genius to figure out that pushing me off a cliff isn’t going to work.”

“I see…so tell me, Commando Cody…do you remember the time I pushed you off a cliff?”

Commando Cody pauses as he reaches into the depths of his memory…

Cody takes to the skies, and eventually catches up to Dr. Evil by a cliffside.

“Stop right there, Dr. Evil!”

“Okay, I know when I’m beaten. I can’t even defeat a goofy Englishman, let alone the infamous Commando Cody.”

“Um…yeah!” Cody steps up to arrest Dr. Evil, slightly confused as to why anyone would show respect toward a man with a big metal cone on his head. Dr. Evil uses Cody’s momentarily confusion to push him off a cliff.

Dr. Evil uses Cody’s moment of reflection to push him off a cliff. Round Two goes to Dr. Evil.

Round Three:
Back at Dr. Evil’s not-so-secret underground lair, Scott Evil is curious as to how his father managed to get rid of Commando Cody.

“It’s really quite simple. I used a combination of cheap cinematography, sloppish writing, and empty sentiment to force Cody into a temporary stupor. It’s a time-honored technique I like to call a ‘flashback.'”

“And you couldn’t find a better flashback besides you knocking him off a cliff?”

“Look, I’m not the most successful evil doctor at the moment, okay? I’m trying to work on a frikkin’ budget here!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. So what did you do after that?”

“I pushed him off a cliff.” Dr. Evil raises his pinky to the corner of his mouth in triumph. Scott is unimpressed.

“You pushed him off a cliff again?!”

“Yes, why?”

“Dad, he’s a flying man! Pushing him off of a cliff doesn’t work you idiot!”

“Well what did you want me to do? Drop him out of an airplane?”

“No!”

“Shoot him into the skies on a rocket?”

“No!”

“Push him off a cliff?”

“That’s what you did!”

“Listen young man, I don’t need criticism from you…” The doctor is interrupted as Commando Cody bursts into the room to take vengeance on Dr. Evil! (Da-Daa!)

“Cody! Scott, help me take care of the flying man!”

“Um…no.”

“No?”

“Well you see dad, he’s got a gun. He’s somewhat competent at what he does, and he’s not so stupid as to push a flying man off a cliff again and again.”

“Oh, I see.”

Within moments, Commando Cody captures Dr. Evil and brings him off to an asylum for the criminally insane. Shortly thereafter the asylum releases him into a normal mental institution, figuring that the insanity really isn’t dangerous enough to be classified as criminally insane. Round Three and the fight goes to Commando Cody…is this the end of Doctor Evil?

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