The Tick versus Gandalf

Big Blue versus Old Grey.The Tick has thus far bested Superman and Dr. Evil. He possesses super strength and nigh invulnerability, although he is a bit on the dim side. Gandalf is a veteran of mage battles, having proven his worth against Elminster earlier on. Gandalf specializes in head games and fire magic, and is a demigod on his own world of Middle Earth.

Round One:
Having heard of the duel between Elminster and Gandalf, the Tick is called in by friends of Elminster in hopes of bringing the deadly grey mage to justice. Gandalf of course thinks he did nothing wrong; all was fair in the duel and in his mind Elminster would have killed him just as quickly. Neither the Tick nor the archmage want a fight, but neither are willing to back down. The Tick enters in a dashing manner, giving Gandalf the option of surrender. Gandalf takes this time to make for a hiding spot. By throwing his voice into the echoing hills, Gandalf distracts the Tick long enough to get a shot at his backside. With a cry of valor, Gandalf leaps upon the Tick, slashing like mad with his sword. but even the might of a magical artifact cannot penetrate the Tick’s blue hide. With a whirl and a backhand, the Tick smashes Gandalf to the ground. Round One goes to the Tick.

Round Two:
The Tick goes for the finishing blow on Gandalf, but his hand passes right through him. By the time the Tick realizes that Gandalf has just pulled an uncharacteristic D&D-style defense, it’s too late. Gandalf bombards the Tick with fire and brimstone, and thinks the round won. But the Tick just turns around and rubs his eyes.

“My my…such summer heat!”

Gandalf lets his jaw drop for a moment as he realizes that everything he’s just thrown at the Tick has had no effect. The Tick is almost upon Gandalf when the wizard stops the superhero with a blinding flash that allows Gandalf to withdraw and develop a strategy. Round Two goes to the Tick.

Round Three:
As the Tick regains his vision, he focuses in once again on Gandalf, charging him in hopes of ending the match. But at the last minute, Gandalf dodges to the side and trips the Tick, sending him crashing into the dirt. The Tick recovers and charges again, only to hit the ground again. This goes on for some time until the Tick starts to get a slight headache.

“Tick…wait.” The wizard stops the fight for a moment with the diversion. “I’ve learned my lesson. Here’s Elminster’s head.”

“Why thank you, good citizen.” As the Tick picks up the sack, Gandalf gives a slight smile and says the magic word. The sack stuffed with fireworks then proceeds to rocket off to the moon. It’s not lethal to the Tick, of course, but it’s far enough away from Gandalf to make the old mage happy. Round Three and the match goes to Gandalf.

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