Derek Stiles versus Phoenix Wright

From hospital to courtroom.I suppose this fight might lack significance to those who haven’t played either the Trauma Center or Ace Attorney series, but I’ll give it a shot anyway. Derek Stiles is the hero of the Trauma Center games for the Nintendo DS and the Wii. He is a doctor operating in the near future, in a time when conventional diseases like AIDS and cancer have been cured. With a scalpel in hand, he and his team of doctors and researchers from the organization Caduceus USA fight against medical terrorism. That’s right…in the far future, a doctor fights against terrorism. Derek is a descendant of the Greek god of medicine, and has an ability called the Healing Touch which slows down time for a short while. He’ll be facing off against Phoenix Wright, star of the Ace Attorney series. Like Derek, Phoenix comes from a near future where his profession is changed. He’s a lawyer who is given a maximum of three days to defend murder victims before they are declared guilty. Also like Derek, Phoenix is driven by faith and good intentions alone. It doesn’t matter if the defendant has confessed; if Phoenix thinks the client is innocent, he is innocent. Phoenix also has a team of helpers, mostly in the form of two young spirit mediums who allow him to tell when people are hiding something and occasionally channel the spirit of his dead boss. For Derek, imagine ER mixed with some sort of science fiction thriller. For Phoenix, imagine Law & Order, but with ghosts and magic. Don’t you just love the Japanese?

Round One:
Derek Stiles has been working with the organization Caduceus International to stop the medical terrorists behind the high-tech virus GUILT. Meanwhile, Phoenix Wright has been doing his best to get his latest client off the hook for murder. The good news for Phoenix is that he manages to keep his client off of death row. The bad news for Derek is that while the client is not directly guilty of murder, he is one of the creators of GUILT, and thus has killed thousands of people by proxy. Derek, furious about the loopholes in the legal system, decides to take matters into his own hands and go after Phoenix Wright. Armed with a scalpel and a small surgical laser, he ambushes Phoenix outside of the courthouse. Caught by surprise, Phoenix seems to be at Derek’s mercy, but he does manage to headbutt the doctor in a counterattack. The headbutt does more damage than expected, and causes a pretty nasty gash that runs down Derek’s face. It seems that the spiky hair on this defense attorney is as much a weapon as it is a hairstyle. Round One goes to Phoenix Wright.

Round Two:
Derek may be wounded, but that doesn’t keep him down for long. He quickly draws a star in the air, and time slows down at the use of his healing touch. With speed and precision that borders on the superhuman, he zips a needle and thread through his own wounds, and then applies antibiotic gel to close it up. Then he goes to work taking the lawyer apart. With time still slowed from the use of the healing touch, he runs circles around Phoenix, hitting him with jabs to the kidneys and a haymaker to the jaw. Time returns to normal, but it’s a little too late for Phoenix. The lawyer falls backwards, and can do nothing more than writhe on the floor in pain as Derek closes in to finish him off. Round Two goes to Derek Stiles.

Round Three:
Things look grim for Phoenix. As happens often, he resigns himself to his fate and seems to give up all hope. And as always seems to happen in that situation, a miracle happens.

Derek is about to cut Phoenix open and donate the lawyer’s body to science when the familiar words, “Hold it!” echo through the streets. Both Phoenix and Derek fall into stunned silence as a new person steps onto the scene. This newcomer is none other than Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix’s rival with a heart of gold. He also happens to be the only person in history who can make a maroon suit and a puffy cravat look good.

“Edgeworth? What are you doing here?” asks Phoenix.

“Wright, pick yourself up. I’ve brought you some decisive evidence that will help you win this case.”

“Decisive evidence?”

Edgeworth produces a bazooka and hands it to Phoenix. “Very decisive evidence.”

“I see. This turnabout came just in time.”

With this new “evidence,” Phoenix blasts Derek at point blank range with a bazooka shell. Derek’s nurse and team member, Angie, immediately rushes onto the scene and takes Dr. Stiles to Hope Memorial Hospital, where the crack team of surgeons there will help put him back together. But even after he’s healed, Derek will certainly know better than to mess with a certain spiky-haired lawyer again. Round Three and the fight go to Phoenix Wright.

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