Spider-Man versus Venom

Spidey takes on his dark twin.This is an old request that I had promised someone I would do but promptly forgot about. There have only been a handful of times that this page has features characters that are actual enemies in their respective medium, and this is one of those times. Spider-Man is Marvel’s brightly-clad iconic superhero with the proportionate strength and speed of a spider. Venom is an alien symbiote that was bonded with Spider-Man briefly and then joined with reporter Eddie Brock, whose power now exceeds Spider-Man’s and whose hatred and intimate knowledge of the superhero gives him a chance to counteract Spidey’s “spider sense” and other abilities. There have been a lot of changes to Venom over the recent years, but I haven’t kept up on them. As a result, I’ll be using the old model of alien symbiote bonded to Eddie Brock, rather than alien symbiote bonded with Wolverine/acting independently/weakened because Eddie has cancer/any of the lame stuff that has come up in the last decade or so. In the comics, this is always a tough fight for Spider-Man. In a forum where reality can be bent based on my whim and sarcasm, things may or may not turn out differently.

Round One:
Spider-Man and Venom have fought so many times in Marvel Comics that they’re sick of each other now. In an unexpected turn of events, they refuse to participate in this planned battle. The first round is largely an attempt by me just to get them to fight. I try bribing them, but even struggling photojournalist Peter Parker makes mroe money than me. I try telling each one that the other called his mom a whore, but that only gets them whining about their respective family issues. I even try just whining, “C’mon” repeatedly, but that only gets me punched through a bus. But, as I pull myself out of the wreckage and wipe blood from my ears, I have one final offer: the winner of this fight gets to kick my ass. That’s enough to get Spider-Man and Venom interested, and the two start going at it in the streets of New York City. They web-sling around, toss cars at each other, and so on. Venom obviously has the advantage in an out and out melee brawl, since he’s bigger, stronger, and has the ability to block Peter Parker’s spider sense. Spidey dodges around effectively for a while, but eventually Venom gets his claws on him and starts pounding him into the pavement. He hits Spider-Man so hard that the ground itself gives way, sending Spidey crashing into the sewers. Smelling blood, Venom dives in after him, eager to finish the battle. Round One goes to Venom.

Round Two:
Outclassed physically, Spider-Man still has the mental edge on Venom. He might not be able to use his spider-sense to sense his foe, but Venom can’t sense him, either. As soon as he lands in the sewers, Spider-Man goes into hiding. Somehow, despite his bright red and blue colored tights, he manages to keep to the shadows well enough to get the drop on Venom. He kicks open a conveniently placed steam pipe, the heat of which weakens Venom significantly. Then he gets behind his foe and grabs him in a sleeper hold, using leverage to give him an advantage against the bigger and stronger Venom. Venom flails and growls, but can’t seem to break Spider-Man’s hold on him in his temporarily weakened state. Round Two goes to Spider-Man.

Round Three:
Yep, things look pretty bad for Venom. But doing my math, I figure that Spider-Man is more likely to succeed at kicking my ass later on, while I can probably escape Venom. After all, Spider-Man is a superhero, while Venom is a supervillain or, at best, an antihero. Since this isn’t a Marvel Max issue (you can tell because I haven’t been dropping an f-bomb every four words), Venom’s inherent villainy also gives him an inherent tendency to fail. As a result, I decide to intervene in the fight just long enough to drop a flash grenade into the sewer. The sudden burst of bright light stuns Spider-Man, who lets go of Venom long enough to cover his eyes. That gives Venom the time to recover and beat the heck out of Spider-Man. Barely conscious, Spider-Man is forced to websling himself to safety, fleeing in order to keep his life even at the expense of losing the battle. Venom then turns his attention toward kicking my ass, but I’ve already fled the scene as well. I’ve got a nearly unlimited supply of guys I can throw between myself and him, so I’m not too worried. Despite the disappointment of not getting to tear me apart, Round Three and the fight go to Venom.


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