Dr. Doom versus Dr. Evil

I know Dr. Doom is much cooler, but Dr. Evil makes me laugh more.

Dr. Doom is the Lord of Latveria, a small, out of the way country out in the middle of Europe. He has a long standing rivalry with the Fantastic Four and has been trying to take over the world for several decades. He remains one of the more formidable villains on Marvel Earth, although it’s somewhat of a wonder that Magneto hasn’t gotten pissed and torn his armored body apart. Dr. Evil has been the head of an evil organization since the 1960s and has been an evil doctor trying to take over the world for several decades. His most formidable foe has been the British secret agent Austin Powers. He has no super powers, but has many henchmen, such as the financial genius Number Two, his son Scott Evil, and his clone who is exactly one-eighth his size, Minime. Thanks to a recent time travel scheme, Dr. Evil has been left behind in 1969. This fight has been decades in the making. As Dr. Evil and Minime emerge from a cryogenic hibernation, they are none too happy to meet face to face with the Lord of Latveria…

Round One

Dr. Evil steps out of his rocket that looks like a giant…er…never mind, and is caught off guard when confronted by a very pissed off Dr. Doom. Doom informs them that they are trespassing. Dr. Evil then sends out Minime as the he himself makes an escape. Minime’s kung fu action leaves Doom momentarily stunned, but none of the blows can burst through Doom’s solid steel armor. The Lord of Latveria disintegrates Minime and vows to destroy Dr. Evil. Round One goes to Dr. Doom.

Round Two

Dr. Evil beats a hasty retreat to his base in Seattle. Instead of pursuing the Austin Powers matter, Dr. Evil begins aiming his giant “laser” toward Latveria. At roughly the same time, Doom is plotting to kill Dr. Evil. Dr. Evil calls Doom and demands one hundred billion dollars to prevent the destruction of Latveria. Angered at this insolence, Doom refuses. Dr. Evil fires the already aimed laser, incinerating the populace of Latveria. Doom barely escapes with his life. Round Two goes to Dr. Evil.

Round Three

Furious at the loss of his nation, Dr. Doom travels to Seattle to deal with Dr. Evil personally. Unwittingly, he falls into Dr. Evil’s trap and is captured. Doom is about to be left to die in the unnecessarily slow dipping process with one inept guard when Dr. Evil’s son Scott intervenes. “You always do this!” He protests. Dr. Evil pauses for a second and realizes that his son is right. Just as Doom is about to escape, Dr. Evil turns and atomizes him with a plasma gun. End of story.

“I love you Dad!”

“I love you too son!”

Round Three and the match go to Doctor Evil.


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