Mr. Peabody and Sherman versus Doc Brown and Marty McFly

A dog and his boy versus a doc and his boy.Mr. Peabody and his pet boy Sherman are veteran Saturday morning cartoon characters, coming from the mold of Rocky and Bullwinkle or Tennessee Tuxedo. Mr. Peabody’s job is to educate the ignoramous child he kidnapped adopted by traveling to various historical events and witnessing them first-hand. Doc Brown is just a crazy old coot with a teenage sidekick who hates to be called chicken. Those two were the focus of the Back to the Future movies, and also starred in their own Saturday morning cartoon, which was painful to the point where I poured bleach into my ears to erase the memories of it all (now I can’t do long division).

Round One

Mr. Peabody hears about someone with a cooler time machine and decides that this will not stand. He sends his boy Sherman out to maim Doc Brown and steal the Delorean. Sherman, none too bright, doesn’t really know what a Delorean is. He goes to ask the nearest doctor, which happens to be Doc Brown. Unfortunately for Sherman, Doc Brown is in no position to answer questions about anything, since he’s busy babbling incoherently about time fluxes, temporal paradoxes, and other pseudoscience. The crazy yammering causes Sherman to go completely insane, and he begins foaming at the mouth as his brain melts down. Saddened by the apparently rabid boy, Doc Brown is left with no other option (in his mind, at least) than to put the kid out of his misery. So Doc Brown runs Sherman down in the Delorean as he prepares for a trip into the past. Round One goes to Doc Brown and Marty McFly.

Round Two

Mr. Peabody goes into a rage when he sees his boy run down — no one’s allowed to kill Sherman except for him! He charges the Delorean. However, he’s quite literally a dog chasing a car — he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he gets it. Doc Brown does know what he’ll do — he’s going to run down Mr. Peabody. The Doc puts the accelerator to the floor…and disappears in a wreath fo flame. He hit 88 miles per hour with the catalytic converter on and threw himself back through time, exiting the fight for now.

Without his main target, Mr. Peabody decides to tear into Doc Brown’s flunky — Marty McFly. McFly is standing in the Doc’s garage when the crazed glasses-wearing dog charges him. He gives a classic clueless expression and takes off running. No one’s around to call him chicken and snap him out of the panic, so he’s left on the verge of getting his rear torn into by a very angry dog. Round Two goes to Mr. Peabody.

Round Three

Despite the hairy situation he’s in, Marty McFly always seems to come out of things okay somehow. He scampers up a tree, with Mr. Peabody waiting for him when he comes down. However, digging through his life jacket-style 80s clothes, he pulls out a dog whistle, although he has no idea where it came from. He blows the whistle, and Mr. Peabody is sent howling in pain. The talking dog doesn’t get very far, because Doc Brown and the Delorean reappear, running Mr. Peabody over. Doc Brown then explains to Marty that he took a trip into the past to place the dog whistle in Marty’s jacket, and then set the time machine to return and finish Mr. Peabody off. However, being Doc Brown, it comes out as something more akin to, “Bleaughblahblahwoo…chocolate milk, Marty, chocolate milk!” Marty smiles, nods, and pats the Doc on the shoulder, patronizing him as always. Round Three and the fight go to Doc Brown and Marty McFly.

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