When we last left the Contest of Champions, Jesus Christ had taken the championship through a deliciously blasphemous battle. Since then, I’ve been facing a conundrum of who could best the Lord himself. The obvious answer is Batman, who can apparently beat anybody with enough prep time. However, Batman hasn’t won a fight without Robin at his side. However, I think it’s fair to have a two on one fight since Jesus is three omnipotent beings in one. So now we have the age old question: can Batman beat God with enough prep time?
When it comes to comic adaptations, the DC Animated Universe (DCAU) is pretty much the cream of the crop. Running for over a decade, the shared universe included Batman: the Animated Series, Superman: the Animated Series, Batman Beyond, Justice League, Justice League Unlimited, and the various tie-in movies and comics that connected to them. While the animated series aren’t comics, I think they’re awesome enough to deserve a list of Crowning Moments of Awesome all their own.
Superhero comics are filled with daddy issues. Be it parents who have died as part of a character’s origin story, abusive stepfathers, or children who are somehow their own father, a lot of superhero comics place focus on the importance of father figures. Here’s my list of the most awesome and heartwarming father-child moments in superhero comics. All of these moments, of course, get the asterisk next to them that good parenting in comic-land is vastly different than good parenting in the real world. For example, Batman serves as a father figure to Robin, but in real life he’d be considered a monster for putting a child in harm’s way every night. So, placing on our reality-altering filters that allow spandex-clad vigilantes to be considered responsible figures, let’s dive into the list.
Comic book deaths are a punchline these days. A few years ago when Captain America died, no one expected the death to last more than two years, even though Marvel swore up and down that it would stick (sort of like how Spider-Man unmasking during Civil War was supposed to stick and not get retconned away thanks to a 
Optimus Prime is a living legend among nerds and lovers of 1980s cartoons alike. He is also quickly rising through the ranks of this section, taking out opponent after opponent and compiling an impressive undefeated record. The Dynamic Duo opposing him is not so fortunate. They’ve taken the hard road to the Contest of Champions; Batman has been humbled more than once before finally teaming up with Robin to 
Batman and Robin return for their third go-round in the tag-team arena. This fight is using the Bruce Wayne/Dick Grayson combo, despite the fact that Dick Grayson hasn’t been Robin for years (he’s currently running around as the new Batman). Facing off against them will be the Green Hornet, classic serial hero and grandson of the Lone Ranger, and Kato, his sidekick and chaffeur who was played by Bruce Lee in the old TV show. That means that Kato was much cooler than the Green Hornet, alas – the creative team on the TV show even had to ask Bruce Lee to tone down the whupass so he wouldn’t outshine the Green Hornet too much.
Batman and Robin have been here before, and are well-known across America. Slightly less well-known is Captain America and that boy he used to date, Bucky. Well, he didn’t actually date Bucky, per se. Instead, he dragged the kid around with him behind enemy lines in World War II to fight the Nazis. Thanks to his callous disregard for a child’s welfare, America was able to defeat Hitler. Now we’re in the modern day, and Batman and Captain America are planning to exploit their kid sidekicks once again in an attempt to show who is the most dynamic duo of all.
V, the main character of the comic book V for Vendetta, is an anarchist from an alternate timeline. In a world where Britain became a facist state, V fights to overthrow the government, and is often just as frightening as the corrupt forces that he battles. He was horribly scarred by government experimentation and wears a Guy Fawkes mask which looks awfully damned creepy when he’s stabbing people to death. Batman is well-known hero who has recently finally had a couple of decent movies made about him in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, and has been a star of comics, television, and film for decades.
This rant is going to need some explanation, lest I look like a hypocrite.
Batman and Robin are the original ambiguously gay duo. Well, maybe it’s not really ambiguous. Batman is, after all, completely crazy. He has a thing for spandex, and has recruited many young “wards” that share Wayne Manor with him and, in some cases, even sleep in the same bed. So we’ve got a likely pedophile and the boy who appreciates the attention and doesn’t know any better. Fighting against them is the Ambiguously Gay Duo of Ace and Gary. Beginning on The Dana Carvey Show, their cartoon eventually moved to Saturday Night Live. They’re a direct parody of Batman and Robin, so we have a parody facing off against the real deal here. it’s also worth noting that Ace and Gary are voiced by Steve Colbert and Steve Carell, who are two very funny men.
