The Incredible Hulk versus Darth Vader
Caught in the heart of a nuclear explosion, victim to gamma radiation gone wild, Doctor Robert Bruce Banner now finds himself transformed in times of stress into seven feet, one thousand pounds of unfettered fury…the dark personification of his repressed rage and fury and the most powerful man-like being to ever walk the Earth! In the other corner we have Darth Vader, one of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy…unless one uses the dumbass midichlorian thing in Episode One, in which case he is the most powerful ever.
Vader is aboard a new version of the Death Star when, for no logical reason, the Incredible Hulk inexplicably shows up on board and begins tearing the place apart. Vader observes the creature for a moment. “Impressive.” He sends a few dozen storm troopers after him. Their lasers prove ineffective against the Hulk’s impenetrable hid. “Most impressive…Marvel Comics has trained the beast well.” Vader eventually gets bored with the merciless slaughter of his storm troopers. With a wave of his hand, he uses the Force to send the Hulk through a plate glass window (also there for no explicable reason) and into the depths of space. Vader turns back to his work. Round One goes to Darth Vader.
An enraged Hulk floats in space for a little while, then turns and maneuvers his way back to the Death Star (it’s kinda like he’s swimming in space; no, I don’t care if that’s really possible). He tears through the station, making his way for Vader. Vader whips out his light saber, and while the Hulk pounds slews of Storm Troopers, maneuvers his way behind the Hulk, repeatedly impaling him with the light saber. This only makes the Hulk madder (“Dark man hurts Hulk!”). Vader uses his Jedi agility to dodge around the Hulk, but is grazed by one of his hits. Vader is punched into a computer console, causing an inexplicable explosion as Vader lies stunned. Round Two goes to the Incredible Hulk.
As the Hulk continues smashing his way through slews of storm troopers, Vader regains his senses…right at the feet of a furious Hulk. Reacting quickly, Vader blasts the Hulk into space again. Hulk screams in rage as Vader musters all of his concentration. Just as the Hulk begins making his way back to the station, Vader unleashes the full fury of the Death Star’s weaponry on the Hulk. The Hulk is atomized, but the Death Star overloads. Naturally, Vader conveniently finds the last escape pod and lives until he sees the Star Wars prequels, at which point he promptly kills himself. Round Three goes to Vader, and Vader wins the day.