Welcome to the Screamsheet! This place can best be described as a reflection of my weird and fragmented personality. Here you’ll find rants both childish and mature, fiction both published and unpublished, music, videos, and anything else that might wander across my brain.
Clark Kent’s glasses are both the most iconic and most ridiculed superhero disguise in comic book history. The disguise has been parodied in Saturday Night Live, called out as ridiculous in The Adventures of Lois and Clark, and called “the ludicrous glasses disguise” by David Goyer, one of the writers behind Man of Steel. How far can a pair of glasses and a changed hair style really get a person?
Well, actually, pretty far. Continue reading
I am not participating in Movember this year. Instead I’m participating in Brovember.
Despite the change, the game is the same this year as it has been in past years:
- Go to my donation page.
- Make a donation.
- Decide what goofy facial hair you want me to have.
If you want to participate in Step #3, send me an email after you make the donation with how much you donated and what your choice is. One dollar equals one vote, and the style with the most votes will get put on my face at the end of the month. The only exception is no vulgarity (sorry penis-beard fans) and no Hitler mustache. Continue reading
My corpse had left an indent on the sidewalk. A set of orange construction cones linked with yellow police tape formed a perimeter around the cracked pavement where a body had been scraped up not too long ago. People broke stride as they approached, stared at the circle of authority that isolated it from the rest of the world, and then gave it as wide a berth as possible. I drew my fair share of looks when I walked right up to the scene and knelt down. I ducked under the police line and touched the cracked sidewalk. If I squinted, I could see the rough outline of my body indented in the concrete, all sprawled limbs and broken bones – a silhouette of carnage, like something out of a cartoon. I could still see my dried blood smeared on the pavement. Not long ago, my body had cooled and settled into a state of rigor mortis in that very spot. Continue reading
The Incredible Hulk is far and away my favorite comic book character. In fact, I’ve posed the argument before that he is one of the greatest literary characters of all time. I could delve into the many reasons that he is compelling not only as a superhero but as a creature of horror and a modern allegory. But, no matter what sort of merits I think the character has, the fact is that I only discovered most of them after I became a fan. So what got me hooked on the Hulk in the first place?
Well, truth be told, it was mostly because he was in the right place at the right time. Continue reading
“Do you believe in God, Eddie?” Robin opened the office door and walked down the front stairs, leading me by the hand to the dungeonesque basement I had avoided before.
“How should I know? I don’t remember anything.”
“I didn’t ask you what you remember. I asked you what you believe.”
“What’s the difference?”
We reached the bottom of the stairs, which led to a short corridor and then a locked door. Robin let go of my hand and started fishing through her pockets, eventually pulling out a piece of black iron – a skeleton key that might have been a century old.
“Belief and knowledge are separate,” she explained, twisting the key in the lock. “You don’t have to know anything to believe in something. It’s something that’s either there or it’s not. So I’ll ask you again: do you believe in God?”
The door opened. I took a step backwards and put my hand over my nose as a rush of stale air washed over us. It smelled like I had just woken up in the morgue again, but with the added presence of rotten meat and mold-covered concrete.
“No,” I said. “No, I definitely do not believe in God right now.” Continue reading